What led up to my Copestone hospitalization.......

There were several factors that weighed in on the decision to commit myself to Copestone Mental Hospital.

All my life, I have suffered from depression and anxiety. I didn’t realize this until I started going through the IOP/PHP program that is part of Mission Hospitals, bought out by HCA.

IOP stands for Intensive Outpatient Program. PHP stands for Partial Hospitalization Program. In a later blog post, I will be detailing my experiences through both PHP and IOP.

Anyways…. with my depression and anxiety never really under control, this created a good base for anything ‘crazy’ to stick. Along with my constant negative self talk and self criticism. It’s true, we are our own worst critics. This all help put me in a place to where I was ‘ready’ for this to become a problem.

The start of 2019, was very exciting for me. We had just finished building my house and getting a Certificate of Occupation approved in early November of 2018. I moved in around 1/1/2019. This was a huge change for myself as well as my dad. We had been living together for the better part of our lives. At the first, it was awkward, but it seemed to be settling down. We were getting in a rhythm of the new dynamics of our relationship.

During the first part of 2019, we were working on my dad’s place, attempting to get it completed. This was slow going as we were still tired from working on my house. Plus, we started having problems with the driveway trying to wash away. There was a spring that started popping up in the middle of the driveway, or I thought that. In July, we were working on the driveway, and during going and getting some supplies, my dad fell up in my basement. He came back too, but he didn’t feel right or look right. The following weeks was very tiring as I was worried about him. He had a stroke in August (the first part of the month).

Eric, my best friend, had been battling stage 4 cancer for about 20 months prior to my dad’s stroke. I had dinner with him shortly after my dad had his stroke, and he was worried about me. Last part of August, Eric passed away. I was able to go say good bye to him, and the following day, he had passed.

To help with the timeline:

• Uncle Passed (Paul) in June
• Dad had a stroke in August (first part)
• Eric passed away in August (last part)
• Aunt passed (Barbara) in September (first part)

The thing that affected me the most, was the fear of losing my dad.